A year after: still running, still grumpy

I know, I officially s*ck at blogging. They say bloggers are wannabe journalists, aspiring writers, perpetual diarists, but what they don’t tell you is that bloggers, the ones that continue to be bloggers because… duh! they keep blogging, are diligent. And I, while persistent, while constantly reading and going “I could write that too”, am a flaky piece of work. However, here I am, because this blog will only exists is someone writes on it, and I don’t wish to add it to my list of “unfinished projects”.

A year ago, more or less, I began writing on this space. I had been recently diagnosed with endometriosis, and after surgery, I decided to chronicle my running to help with my recovery. A lot has changed since. I have managed to set my usual running distance around the 5k mark, and although I am still slow, I have become very adept at cross-country running. I even have the expensive trainers to prove it – they were once so pretty. It’s been tough at times, especially dispiriting when my energy levels let me down, but I even completed a 6k running challenge with some friends, so I’m counting more positives.

Additionally, from September last year, I have been working as a Yoga teacher. This has been my spiritual, emotional, physical roller-coaster/marathon. I don’t hate teaching Yoga, but I sort of dislike it, quite often. It brings all of my insecurities to the surface, for everyone to see, or at least that’s what I think it does. If my chronic fatigue is having a starring-role day, sun salutations make me feel like slapping myself repeatedly. If my period is one a 10-day roll, I want to slap myself repeatedly. At the end of every class my entire body hurts, especially my back, and again, I want to slap myself… repeatedly. I keep thinking “what the hell are you doing you stupid woman?”, but then I get paid, and people come up to me with a smile to thank me for the class. I go home, thinking “I can do this for a living”, only to hate every minute of my life as soon as another class is close on the horizon.

I am still grumpy as hell, but I try to explain my symptoms with a smile, and on most days I manage to make everyone believe all is good.

So yes, changes, lots of. Including my diet, but I will leave that for another post, because that is a another tortuous tale, and this flaky blogger needs to harvest her writing seeds.

Happy Easter x