I haven’t written in a while. Life has got a tad… undefined. Summer arrived, I finished my Yoga teaching season, and with summer ahead of me, I could make no plans. Every time I thought of doing something, I soon realised it was a no-go. This feeling has been permeating over my entire life.
Yoga teaching plans, new jobs, even switching countries, my mind was ready for action. The one thing preventing me from taking any decisions? Surgery.
It all happened quite fast. My GP managed to get me referred to one of the best endometriosis specialists in the country, and I got my appointment. It was the first time a medical professional actually let me speak, shockingly. I listed all of my symptoms, the specialist examined me, and his verdict was pretty quick: surgery at the end of this summer. And, it’s happening.
At the end of this month I get to have bits of me cut out, have a specialist carry out an exhaustive look at my insides. I will know what exactly is screwing up with my life on a daily basis. I will know the nature of my monster.
So now I’m running a lot, and doing Yoga almost every day. I am terrified of surgery and I want to be super fit the day I go in. Post-surgery means 6 weeks of inactivity, boredom, pain and, very possibly, “poor-me” tears.
So, that’s my summer. Those are my plans. It’s a weird mix of relief, dread and also upset. Running and Yoga are a great therapy though 😉